Friday, November 02, 2007

The deepest pit of hell

I was in a meeting yesterday for 6 hours with a whole gaggle of salesmen, it was like purgatory with powerpoint (somebody actually used a fucking laserpointer - I wanted to stuff it into his eyesocket).

As you can imagine, the bullshit was flying thick and fast. One speaker managed to use the word 'encapsulate' at least eight times in a 5 minute presentation, awkward questions were 'parked', and at least 5 'brainstorming' sessions took place. In short, I wished that everybody around me would die painfully and leave me to wallow in shame at the company I was keeping.

Guys, here is a sales tip: try being honest and saying what you actually mean, avoid wrapping it in cheesy analogies, meaningless corporate bollocks and pointless acronyms. We live in an age of increasing cynicism, adapt or wither and die.

3 comments:

Vindico said...

I share your frustration. Corporate wank-words are very irritating and it is just amazing how people can get so caught in their own bollocks.

James G said...

I found your blog because I was bored and googled "Howard from the Halifax advert is a cunt" and ending up laughing at your rant against the bollocks spoken all the time in corporate IT - I work in that kind of environment too and hear that bullshit every day.

Jackart said...

Death loses its sting when people use those corporate wankwords.