For some time I have racked my brains as to what is the ultimate sign of success, status and dare I say it.....greatness. I have finally come to the conclusion that what I require is my very own 'little person'.
To be honest I would prefer a dwarf to what is usually (although incorrectly) termed a midget. This is simply because I find the large head/small body comparison extremely humorous.
When we look back through history we can see that many great men had 'little people' to assist them in their day to day business. Marcus Antonius for one....this is apparently true (I checked).
This was recently reinforced when we spied the UK head of a major global technology company conversing with his very own 'little person'.
The possibilities for those with such an asset are endless....they can run errands, carry surprisingly heavy shopping and can be trained to race other 'little people' for the purposes of betting and general entertainment.
I am about to sign a new contract with my employer but negotiations are starting to break down as my request for an office midget/dwarf is currently falling on deaf ears. They obviously cannot see the possibilities and the positive image it would create with clients.
Imagine......if we were to build a mini assult course for him in stores and then hold time trials every morning versus the office fat person.......run little man run!!
that would be such deep, deep joy!